The Heart book
Chapter one
It was the Age of Rashalika. Myron was dead and his temples were in decay. New portals were being opened outside of the old transport network and the trading patterns were in chaos. The great monopolising centres – planets like Teiko Ra and Shushaldin – were collapsing. Floods of refugees left for other planets as businesses collapsed and trading centres closed. Meanwhile the planets that used to be isolated by Myron's transport system now underwent a boom. Trading and populations there were rising. It was a time of great transformation.
Matilda came out of the cottage door with a canvass bag slung over her right shoulder. She closed the door and clambered up into the wooden boat and took a position between the demon Milton and Guru the silver crow. The boat floated out over the tundra and accelerated towards the portal to Dalurth.
"We are working on some literature, Matilda," Guru explained, "and we know that in the story you have a conversation with Milton about trust and obligation."
"What about honesty?" asked Matilda.
"That will never feature," snarled Milton.
"Am I free to take any position on trust and obligation?" asked Matilda.
"Oh yes," said Guru, "none of the details have been decided yet. But remember that I won't be here at the time. While you two hammer out trust and obligation I will be flying to take a message to Milton Brown. I come back into the story on Dalurth when you have been dropped off and Milton is taking Karen back to Earth."
"What is the Karen conversation about?" asked Matilda.
"Who knows?" sighed Milton, "it might have to be entirely improvised. At least we get to drink this." He held up the bottle of spirits.
"What's that?"
"How the hell should I know? Cherry vodka or something. I'm going to say I bought it and the tax was so high at that stage that the vodka was free but the bottle cost a lot of pure tax."
"We have to work it into the story," said Guru, feathers rippling in the wind over the Tundra.
"But Kesteel has a growing economy. Taxes are low," commented Matilda, pulling a woolen shawl over her shoulders.
"I don't know," spat Milton, "I might have bought it on Shushaldin for all you know."
"Yes, Shushaldin. That's perfect."
"Perhaps I got a whole crate of them into this boat and sold the rest on Pangolin where genuine Shushaldin cherry vodka is worth a great deal."
"That's splendid!" cried Matilda clapping her hands.
"I was just being sarcastic," growled Milton bleakly.
Guru faced into the wind and spread his wings, lifting him effortlessly into the air.
"See that clump of bushes? The Dalurth portal is there. It can take you to a few other places since this is a new kind of portal. I'm going to open it up before the boat comes in." and with that he flapped off into the sky.
Matilda gazed fixedly at her hands that were pinning the hem of her blue cotton dress to her knees, which the wind tried to lift. Milton narrowed his eyes and looked towards the northern horizon. With Guru gone the dynamics and tensions had shifted. After about a minute Milton cleared his throat and spoke;
"We have not mentioned obligation yet."
"It can be forgotten until the actual book."
"Ha! You think so? You are so naive, Matilda. The conversation has to be timed and rehersed. When we reach those bushes we might well turn around and go back to the cottage."
"What? Go back?"
"Yes, to time the events, adjust the speed of the boat. There are so many technical details that females ignore and gloss over."
"You just don't trust me, Milton."
"I'm obliged to, it's already in the script."
"Are there any glasses?"
"Glasses? What the hell are you on about now?"
"I thought we may as well try the vodka."
"Glasses? Oh you are such a girl. We have to drink from the bottle, of course."
"Drink after your mouth has touched it?" Matilda shuddered.
"Don't you trust me?"
"Oh it has nothing to do with trust, Milton. It's boy-germs."
"Look, he's opened the portal."
"No-one's opened the bottle."
"I said the portal, the hyperspacial doorway. The boat is perfectly aimed. Looks like Guru is going to take us right through."
"Where is that funny bird?"
"I can't see him. Perhaps he went through ahead of us. Hang on, here we go."
And the planet Kesteel vanished behind them.
Chapter Two
"This is not the planet Dalurth. Something has gone wrong with the transition. Two large moons and a sun are visable."
"Why should that matter?"
"Guru has to find us...tell me about my name-change and so on."
"What name-change?"
"My name changes in both stories. Anyway, we should be on Dalurth. Ostensibly you want to go there and then I pick up Karen and take her to Earth."
"You know that our plans rarely come true."
"Have you no faith in Future Story?"
"None at all. Now we can drink from the bottle cap. Just unscrew it."
"But I was saving this for Karen."
"Well, we are not on Dalurth at all, right? You can forget about Future Story and live in the present for a change."
"The present? I'm a retro character. I grew up with spaceships and portals were very rare."
"Will you just open the bottle, please?"
"You sure have an attitude."
"I don't mind sharing the cap, as long as we drink from different sides."
"OK, alright, I'm unscrewing it."
"You just have to realise when this can be the whole book."
"You know I paid heaps in pure tax for this vodka."
"So you tell me."
"You have no faith in my word?"
"I know you read Future Story."
"And...?"
"And nothing. I mean just decentralise a bit. Things are not always about you."
"Do you want to drink or not?"
"Well pour the drink, then."
"I'm slightly baffled. We may have crossed wires. Here."
"Thanks. No, what do I say?"
"Salute."
"Salute."
"Hey, you don't have to skull it like that."
"YAAAGH! Oh, wow, that's strong. Here, your shot."
"You don't drink like a lady."
"I certainly don't have to."
"Mm, it is strong."
"Don't sip it, skull it properly."
"This does not taste like vodka."
"Come on, skull!"
"I'm not as reckless as you. This drink could contain anything."
"You called it cherry vodka."
"That was the script."
"Ooooaah! I'm feeling strange. Am I drunk already?"
"What's in this stuff? Now we can't even ask Guru."
"Wow, I'm floating in the sky."
Chapter three
"Now while we have conversations in the boat we must be bringing in all kinds of details that relate to the transformation of the system and all the changes that are happening on the planets. We need some evocative descriptions at various points and all kinds of unusual connections between the characters."
"I think that only happens in Future Story. All we really get here is conversation."
"You should at least try to aspire to the future."
"I see no point."
"Well I see no point in a non-aspiring present."
"I could try aspiring if it's important to you."
"Yes, just focus on the fine literature we mean to produce and be a part of."
"We could reach Fey Tower in the future story."
"What? The Tower of the Skull?"
"Yes, that would be important to the author's visualization work."
"That tower is on the planet Serath, so we can't be reaching it in chapter four."
"Well chapter four could involve opening a portal to Serath."
"And meanwhile we have conversations on the boat, I suppose."
"Then in chapter five we can reach the tower."
"What then?"
"I don't know. I suppose we climb the tower and find something significant."
"At the top is a dome to signify the inside of the skull. We need to walk single file on the narrow raised path that separates the hemispheres."
"Do we get into the visualization ourselves?"
"We may as well. Actually you can do it. You sit in the stuffed white chair in front of the third eye point that is the screen of a massive computer. You slot a new program into the computer. The screen lights up and runs something called Transformation. There would also be other programs running such as see your hands in your dream, but this new one is Transformation."
"That's good. That sums it up, but we need to fill the chapter with evocative descriptions and pad it out so it takes a long time to climb the tower. Inside the tower there could be all kinds of other distractions before reaching the visualisation part. We have a whole chapter to fill up, remember."
"How long is a chapter?"
"The same as a length of string."
"Are you actually trying to tell some kind of joke? That's a change."
"Remember that we deal in transformation."
"What about the letters?"
"Which letters?"
"I recall that at one time the plan was to have letters scattered though the book."
"Ah, yes, we have not got that far."
"Why don't we find the letters in a lower part of the tower?"
"Yes, I can see the possibility. But the letters are dispursed, so perhaps that is just to locate them in the story somehow or give them a point of origin."
"What do you think they are about? Who does he write to?"
"I don't know. Perhaps the people next-door. They can start with angry or opposed letters then go through the transformation to different kinds of letter."
"Chapter five might then include the pivotal letter written on New Year's Day, for when things begin to transform. We can read it when we find the letter room in the tower."
"There might be letters to other people that appear in different chapters."
"We can sort them out when we approach the other chapters. Where does my monologue go? The one where I talk about problem women I knew like the other Karen?"
"Oh, that's not until the belly book."
Chapter four
Chapter six
The indigo sun and one of the moons had dropped to the horizon by the time their boat stopped at the temple wall. In the gloaming Milton could see the tiles on the top of the wall and the picturesque roof-like structure above the gate. He thought the architecture appeared to be Asian, and if he had asked Matilda he might have learned that it was Japanese.
As the boat settled to the stony ground the gate opened slightly and a small figure slipped out. By the light of the second moon Milton saw a bald, dark-skinned man in monk's robes. Matilda did not mention to him that she thought the monk was Mongolian, yet armed with that information Milton could have told her that they were on the planet Duskavin. The Monk spoke first, as if in greeting, "I dig a pigmy by Charles Hortridge. Phase one in which Doris gets her oats."
There was a pause while they tried to assign specific meaning to this utterance, but before they could respond the Monk spoke again.
"Ah, travellers! Apodictic to meet you. I am a friend of Guru and I speak your lexicon. I thought you were the Fremantish tax collectors. Come in, and bring your values. Guru said that you carry values. Very rare and forbidden on Duskavin."
"Values?"
"Yes, rare values from Pangolin. We can put them in the library modality."
"Er, we are not sure what you mean."
"Sorry, my lexicon might be hypothetic, but I can see the values in the bottom of the boat. Look."
"Oh, the books?"
"Temperation. We call them values. There are some rooms of the lexicon that I cannot translate yet, but with your conversation we can correct the missing room. That's on my C level at the moment, the vantage point of the son of a barren woman. Well, my name is Glerph. Come on in , and bring the books – ha ha, books! Temperation, it's all fadrigoish to me Be quick, it's deontic hypothetic to be caught with books on Duskavin."
Milton gathered the values from the bottom of the boat and the two of them followed Glerph through the Temple gate. Glerph bolted the gate after them, then led them down a raked gravel path between bonsai pines. Glerph pointed out various pavillions, rooves glittering with dark blue tile in the moonlight; "There is the meaning modality, that one is the text modality, and this one is the image modality. Care to take a look?"
"Yes."
"What do you mean by that? In fact it's a rare term that I know from the Zilberman Sutras. Analytic it's a lexicon example."
"We are never quite sure what you mean, but you call this room or building a modality, I have no idea what you say in place of yes."
"Room? There's another unique term from scripture. This is richly bizarre, since I would only talk about rooms with someone familiar with the Darsan meaning, as I might to talk about the images within this modality."
"You know the Darsan meaning? We just live it by default while working on Future Story."
"What is your religion? I'm lost in your terms."
"My religion? I'm with the Demonlords, the Cult of Rashalika. What are you, Matilda?"
"I'm a Spiritual Atheist."
Glerph made a curious noise and shook his head in confusion. His hand was paused, reaching for the door of the Image Modality yet suspended as his mind tried to unravel the religion of these Utter Fadrigoish speakers. Of course what he knew by the name of Utter Fadrigoish was what they called English. Matilda thought that English was from Kesteel, but Milton realised that it came from Earth.
"I have hypostatic idea of your religion." whispered Glerph, pushing the door open.
"I don't think we follow you"
"It is not hypothetic to look at the images, you know, though your utterances are Greek to me. I'm missing the crucial list of lexicon to make sense of our conversation at the moment, but I assure you to follow me into the image modality...I could call it a room as you do but that it just so ironic once you deontic know how the text functions. Oh, my God."
Milton frowned and Matilda smiled anxiously. Glerph looked back at them with a leathery kind of squint. All three paused for a moment, struggling to bridge the language gap via the study of expression, yet these were two different rooms. Glerph led them into a beautiful modality lit by two hundred wavering candle flames. The floor was composed of coloured stone slabs arranged almost like a chess-board, yet with a more complex pattern. Carved delicately of dark wood were many kinds of tall open cabinet, each resting on a particular coloured slab. The cabinets were filled with ivory statuettes large and small.
"I could explain the text and meaning of the images, yet this may lead into unparalleled confusion, considering the ironic distance within the unkown list. But look, that is the central deity to our confusion. He used the term "yes".
"Look, there are Gods from various religions here," said Matilda, "That's Buddha, Shiva, Jesus and Apollo, and over here I recognize philosophers. Aristotle, Descartes, Spinoza, Hegel, Marx, Husserl and a whole lot of other characters. There must be hundreds of them, but I don't know the one who said "Yes"."
"Well we call him Zilberman, and the very presentation of the image room speculates his work. Now this may be the very confusion that we hold in common. He is known for his peculiar lexicon, Thus those images are said to influence these ones in a certain manner. We call that the good room, obscure though it may be. What would you call that?"
"Perhaps a cabinet of Gods."
"Perhaps?? In ordinary terms it may be a cabinet of gods, yet the perhaps can function as the room you call a modality and be reflected by these deities of the really room."
"Well that's a cabinet of philosophers."
"Ah, temperation, but only as a really religion."
"Does that mean you... treat philosophy as a religion?"
"Philosophy is directly a working of religion in Duskavin Fadrigoish, yet the religion is what changes once the text of Zilberman is applied, since he writes a text of philosophy, not a philosophy of text. That is quite a twist. The religion of philosophy is thus smashed and re-interpreted via what we call roominization. Then you see we have an image of the Darsan, since this is all within a meaning. In a sense philosophy actually changes into meaning in this modality...and curiously enough you would say "in this room". Actually Zilberman once wrote "Snake is thick", yet not simply to expose the subject-predicate logic of language, but to example Roominization. We then give this a certain yes and say "Darsan is thick", but I think that you might call it an in joke."
"Actually," said Matilda suddenly, "I don't know what the Hell you are talking about."
Glerph paused, halfway between a frown and a smile. "It might be either the philosophy or the fadrigoish that is the problem, possibly both, but the apodictic thing is that we can work on mediating both of these during your stay. Guru mentioned that you could be here for many years, plenty of time to understand what the hell I am talking about. For every image in this modality there are values in the library, we can study a bit about each of them eventually."
Milton walked further into the room and examined the cabinet of philosophers. Each ivory figure was carved with exquisite detail. "Who is this one?"
"That's Sebastian Deathridge, one of the more modern philosophers from the planet Shadulem. We recognise him mostly for the ontology of Dim Structures, a theory with both physical and spiritual implications. We could make a start on his philosophy tomorrow, in fact."
"So we are going to study philosophy for many years?"
"Not only philosophy, but all aspects of the Darsan meaning, including a study of scripture, meditation, dream control and image devotion. Guru explained to me your current situation and the arrangements have been made."
"But we were supposed to work out the details for a future book," said Matilda.
"Oh, a value. Well, you are free to do some work on that, yet it may be a very long term project and you may need some extra material for it. What you learn here can only go to improve such a book, if you take a simple perspective. Yet the whole notion of book work may be transformed. Eventually there is no difference between the future book and the present one."
"That is a topic we have debated."
"Temperation, and the nature of time is quite different once you understand Dim Structures, for example."
"What do you mean by "Temperation?" You often say it."
"Why that's the simple affirmative."
Matilda thought for a while. "What I call the simple affirmative is the word 'yes'"
"Ah, but that is a term used by Zilberman which may be considered rare. This is the final fadrigoish list of swapped terms that we have to iron out before the possibility of clear communication arises. Just as book is value, Temperation is yes. I find it interesting that Zilberman is involved in our final list, yet properly approached I would not start on his philosophy for several years, since it is not exactly contained within the domain of philosophy anyway. Yet the list itself places Zilberman between us, thus indicating his significance in our interaction. In the Darsan meaning his work is most important in the relation between the various cabinets in this modality. Don't frown, Matilda, it is only a little fadrigoish and philosophy that separates our minds, both of which can be resolved in time. Later on we can play a form of devotional game with the images and cabinets, since they can be moved around according to the higher religion. But never mind that now. I will show you to your modalities and we can take some time looking around the temple grounds and meeting a few people. Once we have sorted out the fadrigoish list we can have a proper conversation."
Chapter seven
The month of Ramul found them sitting with Glerph and a monk called Dragon in the silver pavilion. The indigo sky vibrated with cool energy. They sipped a kind of yellow tea called dressel.
"Well," said Glerph, "I think that we have solved most of the fadrigoish confusions. Curious that your term for 'meaning' was mine for 'religion', that was rather subtle. How is the meditation going?"
"Mine seems to be working," replied Matilda, "I usually get into focus with a kind of buzzing or vibrating head energy these days, but it took a while."
"I still have a lot of trouble," said Milton, "I can't keep focussed or find the Dim Structures. Thoughts distract me and I get angry with myself."
"Ah," said Dragon, "What you need is to work on the gentle attitude. I used to have a similar problem."
"Yes, I know the theory. I have to work on it."
"How are you going with the philosophy of Deathridge?" asked Glerph.
"We've been reading the introduction to his ideas by Parma. I think the main idea seems to be that the universe has three phases, the physical cosmos, Dim Structures and the void. Dim Structure theory relates quantum physics, gravity and other forces in a unified way, but I don't understand the details of the physics or the equations. Deathridge also seems to use Dim Structure as a basis for spirituality, since he thinks spirit derives from the void."
"He was influenced by Musashi. Actually I think Zilberman was a greater influence, since the three phases correspond to the three modalizations. Now after Deathridge came a spiritual master called Nemanya. She studied the work of Deathridge and used Dim Structures as the focus of her spiritual practices. Nemanya based her practice on what she called the three gateways of the soul, and these obviously correspond to the modalizations and phases. There is the gateway of intellectual study, the gateway of meditation and the gateway of dreaming. These practices compliment each other and lead to a kind of fusion in the realm of Namah, which is direct apprehention of Dim Structure."
"But why can't we see the Dim Structures already if they lie behind everything in the physical world?" asked Matilda.
"Deathridge would say that the observer and the Dim Structures conspire to make the physical world appear to perception as it does. Nemanya would go on to say that the gateways lead to a discovery of the deeper self, which by recognising it's own nature as Dim Structure can then see the Dim Structures of everything else revealed as the realm of Namah. But this is something of a simplification, since the path of each gateway has many stages, and so Nemanya experienced a variety of lesser realms before reaching Namah where the three ways met. Nemanya is considered a founder of the Darsan religion we practice here, although to be accurate the religion developed after her death through the work of two of her students, Tashel and worior. Tashel argues the point since he claims to have collaberated with the spirit of Nemanya who he met when he entered Namah in meditation and dreams later on."
“Well I have to accept the reality of dreams,” said Matilda, “and I feel the dim structure as you speak. I know Guru will soon be here, I can feel the pattern of his personality approaching.”
“Yes, he is coming to collect you for a certain mission,” said Dragon.
At that moment a tiny star appeared not far from the table. It stretched to form a blue shimmering skin and the silver crow hopped out of it to land with a soft thud on the wooden surface.
“Greetings, Earthlings of Duskavin,” said Guru, dropping an amber gemstone on the table, “Is Matilda ready?”
“She is now somewhat prepared for the mission,” said Glerph, “her meditation is not as advanced as I would have hoped, but he should be ready for identity work.”
“Can I come on the mission?” asked Milton
“Not physically, but you can dream about it,” Curu preened his flight feathers. He pecked at the amber gemstone and the portal expanded.
Guru tilted his head, looking at Milton with one eye and then the other. Matilda finished her Dressel in two long gulps and stood up.
“Do I need to take anything for this mission?”
“The equipment is waiting for you on Serath. Follow me,” Guru picked up the amber gem in his beak and jumped back through the Portal. Matilda hesitated and then stepped into the shimmering electricity.
Chapter eight
With a numb, tingling sensation Matilda stepped out into a vast marble vault filled with hundreds of echoing voices. Scores of portals in carved stone archways opened into the vault and throngs of beings were emerging from them and streaming across the polished red stone floor. Guru flapped in a tight circle and landed on her shoulder.
“Straight ahead,” he whispered in Matilda’s left ear. She began to walk.
“Join us,” said a man dressed in green leather. He was with a group of similarly dressed people. “We fight for Mother.”
“No thank you, I’m on another mission.”
“Mother will soon rule all of Serath. Be on her side. Join us.”
“Sorry.” Matilda quickened her pace, leaving the soldiers of Mother behind.
“This used to be a Transport temple of Myron,” said Guru conversationally, “Now it belongs to the pure cult of Rashalika. Free portals are still forbidden on Serath, otherwise we would go directly to the Tavern in half an hour. Now head for the Cupid archway and the line to Kureth.”
Matilda spotted the statue of Cupid above a distant archway and made a beeline for it.
The floor was inlayed with lines, arrows and signs in various languages. Matilda was following a line that indicated Kureth, which with other lines took them through the Cupid archway and to a moving ramp in an atrium where many ramps began. Matilda walked up the ramp until she felt tired, then he stood and let the ramp take her through a series of passages, up to the roof of the temple.
“You can imagine that I’m always on your shoulder and at all times you can hear the voice of Guru in your left ear.”
“I’m not sure that I like that idea.”
“It dosen’t matter if you like it or not. I can still provide good advise. Head for those lockers. Number 807. The lock will open to your thumb-print”
In the locker found a wings packpack. In one of the pockets was a phone card that could contact anyone on the planet Serath. Matilda strapped on the pack She walked to the edge of the roof plaza.
“This is where I leave you,” said Guru, “I’m on another mission of my own. The wings are set for autopilot. Good luck.” Guru took off into the saphire skies, silver wings flashing in the light of the small blueish sun.
“Start flight,” said Matilda. The pack obeyed, unfurling wings and tail, and flapping as if in imitation of the silver crow that dwindled like a bright star. Matilda jumped over the low plaza wall. She glided towards a lush emerald forest to the west. A vast panorama was spread out before her. The air had a slight chill but Matilda found it refreshing.
He flew over the forest for some time and spotted several other flying things in the distance. On the horizon she could see the deep blue-grey of an ocean. Her wings took her in that direction.
A chime sounded from her pocket and the phone card spoke; “Call for Matilda. The person does not have a Kureth accent. Islander, I suspect. Could be a salesman.”
“I’ll talk to him, thanks, phone.”
“Matilda? This is Drishnu. I’m at the Purple Oyster Tavern.”
“I’m on my way, flying now.”
“I’m in a booth by the sea window. I’m wearing a leather headband with a ruby third eye.”
“Got it, I’ll meet you soon.”
The wings flapped slowly. The ocean gradually expanded until Matilda swooped over the great grey cliffs and banked, turning to land on the platform roof of the Purple Oyster Tavern that had been carved from the solid rock. The wings folded automatically and Matilda unstrapped the pack, handing it to a robot in attendance. Matilda passed through an automatic door and walked down a moving ramp. The walls were carved with aquatic scenes. Glowing fish lighted the way down, and she walked into the warm noisy air of the bar. She made her way to the great windows that overlooked the ocean.
The man in the third booth was more notable for the cut on his cheek and the ugly gash on his forehead that the ruby headband. His hair was long and black. His eyes glittered like chips of obsidian.
“Drishnu”
“Matilda, have a seat.” Drishnu’s strong hands rested on the polished grey surface of the table. On his left little finger was a gold ring.
A womandroid barmaid approached. “Ready to order?”
“I’ll have a blue wine,” said Matilda
“The house blue?”
“That will be fine, thanks.”
“And I’ll have a mouse-milk latte with vodka,” said Drishnu, touching the cut on his cheek. He passed a card to the barmaid. The technology on Serath remained old fashioned. Nobody used cards any longer in most of the sectors. The barmaid held the card for a full second and handed it back to Drishnu, who looked at the display surface before slipping it back into a jacket pocket.
“ I had to fight a woman for this ring,” said Drishnu, “ I was a Demonlord. During the fight I felt myself becoming more human. I’d never met such a female warrior as D’lorah Regurk, Queen of Petalac. She shared my ambition to rule all of Serath. You see these cuts? I was humbled. Then I felt a remorse for fighting and hurting another being, just to steal this powerful ring. You would think it wrong to use violence against a woman, even a warrior such as D’lorah. You know she has a vast following. They call her Mother and put their lives on the line in her name. We began a romance you see, but it turned bitter as soon as she discovered that I had killed two of her blue scouts. I coveted the Demonlord ring, and planned to challenge Rashalika for the position of High Demonlord. But I lost my ambition. See these cuts? Drishnu could not live with scars from a woman. He was too proud. It led me to the identity work that Guru suggested.”
“We have been doing something similar in a temple on Duskavin,” said Matilda, “But I’m still not sure why we had to meet.”
“Nor am I,” sighed Drishnu, “What are your plans for the future?”
“The writing of a story. I’ve never been to Serath before, but I had a plan with Milton to visit Fey Tower.”
“I know the place,” said Drishnu.
“It seems to be a focus for writing work, but I’m not sure what’s going on or what’s supposed to be happening. We had conversations on a boat.”
The barmaid arrived with their drinks. They fell silent for a while, sipping their drinks. Matilda watched white bird-like creatures drift past the window. The sea was wrinkled and grey and the sky was now overcast.
“In the past I was struggling to become the high Demonlord,” said Drishnu, “I had great ambition. But now things are different. My experiences changed the whole self image I had and my idea of the world. Now my only plan is to become human again. I will always have these scars to remind me of the transformation,” He touched the cut on his brow. “We can travel to Fey tower if you think it will help you write your story, I have no other plan.”
“I don’t know that it will help. The tower was never my idea. I could write more about my experiences, like what’s been happening in the temple on Duskavin. It’s like a journey of self-discovery. But I could write about this meeting and what you have told me. Your transformation seems significant and I know transformation is to be a major theme of Future Story.”
“You can write about me if you want to.”
“Thanks, but you know I’d never really considered myself as the author before. I thought of myself as one of the characters. Milton and Guru were talking about it that way.”
“Guru seems significant. I heard that he began as a lamp for a rich person on Trafel, since he can beam out light from his special silver feathers.”
“In the temple I learned that the word Guru comes from the two Sanskrit terms for dark and light, meaning that a Guru is one who transforms the dark into light. It points to a spiritual enlightenment, not just work as a desk lamp.”
“That’s interesting. I really want to work on positive transformation in my own life, and that’s what enlightenment would be. Guru has been giving me clues and messages for some time, but I was too tied up in the Demonlord Identity to fully understand or take the work on. I thought my path was a powerful one that went in a third direction, splitting the light from the dark. Now it just seems like a mistake. I want to be human again. I want to be genuine.”
“You seem completely human to me.”
“Well, I don’t feel fully human yet.”
“It might just take a bit of time, but you seem to have made most of the transformation already.”
“Perhaps. And if I change to become human you can change from character to author.”
“I haven’t thought about it like that before.”
“Well, it must be a part of transformation, changing the way you think about things.”
“Yes, that makes sense.” Matilda was silent for a while, gazing out at the great grey ocean. Then she glanced at Drishnu, and it seemed his ruby third eye looked at her. “You know what?”
“What?”
“If I were the author I would end this chapter or a whole book right here.”
THE END OF THE HEART BOOK