You are looking at the Optimum COW issue 3
My Opinion on...
Trees
Trees are the reverse of nature, whatever should be happening in the world around it is reversed by a tree.
When it storms and you stand under a tree do you feel the rain?
When the sun shines brightly and you stand under a tree do you see the light?
Once it has finished raining it rains under the tree.
And when the sun has set a tree can glow in the dark (mainly just at christmas time though cos of the lights).
Trees are creepy. Don't eat them!
The Mystial Madame Maddie
For this week I predict.
The sun shall rise in the morning.
You are likely to cough... or maybe that is a sneeze... I am unsure the signs are giving me mixed signals.
I see money in your near future. It could be wither a raise or just someone nearby owning money.
If you are born on the 18th of March, I can see a strong sense of fire. Perhaps your house will burn down...
Just in case I suggest you take this computer somewhere safe. How will get on COW without it?
You Want fashions? I'll give you fashions!
I say rip off the green cloak this instant! No more blue!! Keep with the fashions!!
I have just recieved news from mexico. Sombreros are WAY in!!
Get yourself a sombrero! If you Don't have one, how will you ever be accepted as part of the team.
And for all you newbies out there this is something you HAVE to know!
Paint yourselves for gods sake! If I see one more person wearing bright yellow I will personally call the fashion police!
It's not even hard! All you have to do is type: paint me
And for all you wanting to be models here is a little tip I caught up on the streets.
If you go to a simple painting program like say... Paint Shop Pro then you can take the HTML tag for the exact colour you want.
Here is an Example,
type: paint me to #f9a363
It is a perfect sombrero colour! Also don't forget to type: describe me as wearing a sombrero
More Than Just An Advice Column
In the last week Jemilly (Winner of COWian Idol for all of you who having been living underneath rocks!) has been swamped with fan mail recently and has decided to publish some in her local newspaper.
We're glad she chose us cos i don't think Daily COW could handle the pressure.
Caroline Jackson:
My cousin Susie has been considering going onto COW but says it is too confusing, how can I convince her it is the coolest place in the universe and must come?
Jemilly:
We all know you can't convince someone to do what you want them to do just because you want them to. But you can hit them with large bulky objects and tell them that if they don't come on COW you will continue hitting them.
I always found that statues of me hurt alot... I wonder why that is...
Horace Green:
I amj a horse and I find it hard to type on my keunbpard for obcious hooce reasons. do you know anyways a horse could be able to type easire on a keyboarsd?
Ot osm'ty faior. My crazed owner puts these annoying cliunky things on my legs. Hlpe ,me Je,millu!!
Jemilly:
Umm... next question?
Pino Colabro:
I am not wearing a sombrero!! I am scared that people will tease me!!
Sumbreros are the coolest thing in coolsville. But I am not wearing one! Help me Jemilly!
Jemilly:
What are you waiting for? get one! NOW!!
When I was at school (not that long ago really) I was teased terribly because I didn't have the fashion trends.
It was afros at the time and I look back on that and sigh in relief.
But you MUST get a sombrero!! Anyone NOT wearing a sombrero will be shamed upon!
Quiz O' The Week
This weeks quiz revolves entirely around Buffy The Vampire Slayer (The Shockingly popular Tv show you should love and if you don't go buy things!)
Just warning you that if you are not very obsessed it is not likely you will get many right at all.
Q1. Who says this line? "I like money more than people, people can so rarily be exchanged for good and/or services"
Q2. What is the name of the episode when Anya sings? (Other than the one where everyone sings)
Q3. What is Buffy's middle name?
Q4. What happens to Cordelia very closely after finding out Xander has been cheating on her?
Q5. When Buffy's day in the magic shop keeps repeating itself what does the customer want? (Not the candle customer)
Q6. Who all of a sudden becomes popular in the episode titled "Superstar"?
Q7. What is the line that Faith repeats 3 times in "Who are you?", each time saying it with more feeling?
Q8. What is the name of D'Hoffrin's demon dimension?
Q9. What is the real true full name of the Ubervamps?
Q10. (I am not expecting you to get this one unless you are a very truly die-hard fan) Who was the First supposed to show up to, to Xander?
POSTER BONANZA!!
For your looking pleasure we have some pictures of things that will cause explosions in the eyeballs because they are so wonderfully shot!
All of our photos were taken by our resident photographer Mr. Wolis (There could be the odd one here and there taken by Josh too...)
WOO!!
How Exciting!!
These are good, admit it!
I can't see, my eyeballs exploded!!
Send it in!
For all of you aspiring writers and photographers out there get snapping and pen... writing!
All you have to do is type: create an article for Josh. Send it
Is is so very much worth your while because if your article is published (And it is likely to be, if it is creative) then you will recieve 100 pennies!!
Easily cash-in-able at your local bakery.
Quiz Answers
The Answers to the Buffy Quiz
A1. Willow (she is imitating Anya)
A2. Selfless (it is Josh's favourite episode and must not be missed!)
A3. Anne (It is also the name of the first episode of season 3, when she has run away and calling herself that)
A4. She gets speared through the stomach by a large pole (And then decides to do drastic things like burn photographs on her bed, oh and call upon evils subconciously)
A5. A Mummy Hand ("Each finger sold separately")
A6. Jonathan (This is the only episode we see of him in season 4 and unfortunately he is doing something stupid)
A7. "You can't do that it's wrong" (This is funniest when she in testing Buffy's body infront of the mirror and then says "You can't do that it's wrong. I'll Kick Your Ass!!")
A8. Arashmaha (Quote from 'Something Blue' "Blessed be in the name of D'Hoffrin to the land of Arashmaha where the... UHGH!! *agitated* Blessed be in the name of D'Hoffryn")
A9. Turok Han (To the much disiking of Jemilly they never call the Ubervamps this much at all)
A10. Jesse (The annoying guy from the first and second episodes ever. He was busy doing something else--phht something else--and so couldn't make it)