You are in the Daily COW which is lying on the ground

Below is the last issue of the Daily COW now that we have a new-fangled news room

You will find a dusty box in the archive box (in the news room) which has previous copied of the daily cow

readall dusty box






Goodbye Jack 27 Apr 06
An interesting feind named Chaotic Jack has been taken care of, if you know what I mean. Chaotic Jack was my old character before I became Superblah, Treasurer and Secretary of C.C. and head of C.C.'s COW beautification commitee. Since then I have forgoten the password to his profile. A few months ago, he made a reappearance. He had somehow gotten the ability to code and was changing the codes of everything he saw. Now, thanks to COW's own Chaotic Bob (no, he's not the same person), Chaotic Jack has been taken care of. So, remember to pay homeage to Chaotic Bob, and give him many gifts.

-Written by Superblah, Treasurer, Secretary, and head of the COW beautification commitee of the Chaos Corporation.

The riddle of the rift 26 Apr 06
Well, I may be overly optomistic but I belive I have solved the riddle of the time-rift.

--- (boring stuff starts here) ---
Turns out the batch file that copied cow data files to the ram drive was pausing asking if I wanted to copy to a file or a folder. Strangely this has not behaved like this since I started cow on this server back in Dec 05.

My only thoughs are that a Windows Update has modified the behaviour of the copy command and now I have to explicitly indicate the folder not just let it assume I mean a folder (ho hum).
--- (boring stuff stops here) ---

Lets see how we go tomorrow.

Lets do the time-warp again 24 Apr 06
..Or did I mean 21 Dec 2005 ??

Something mighty strange just happen in cowland.. a ginat rift in time-space sent us all spinning dizzilly back to December last year.

"I belive I have patched the rift up" explained wolis as he packed the masking-tape away in his red toolbox. "I have no idea how the rift was opened in the first place.. and for this I am slightly worried" worried wolis.

Ah well.. seems like everything is back to normalish. Send wolis a message if you notice another rift open up.

Lets have at you 21 Apr 06
Well Ill be.. first spiders now rats.

Seems like a small invasion of rats.. battle rats to be more specific, have entered our peaceful space.

They seem quiet enough but when hit they get a bit agressive.

Watch out for any location that contains a battle something in it (hidden or not) as it denotes the area as a battle arena .. and you better have lots of pennies to survive!

I belive you can try and absorb pennies from loose objects lying around when the pressure is on.

A list a day 18 Apr 06
Due to the overwhelming obsession some people have with blogging, cow has had a few minor modification to make the content of rooms or specific sets of objects easily bloggable.

Yes, I know, not everyone finds this stuff facinating but these things have to be done you know. In the fullness of time a book will be written about hot to get RSS feeds from cow but until then you will all have to wait.

To facilitate this blogginess there have been some minor changes to the list command.. read the command called list

unfortunatly the plain old list command has stopped working.. but Im sure someone somewhere will magically fix it, as always.

On a more exciting note there have been rumours or a small rat calling itself a battle rat.. wanting to fight it out with the best of us.. watch out for it.. it may be dangerous.

And on a completely different note.. I belive our long lost friend Jemiilly, who completely left cowland without a trace, has made an appearance again. shout Welcome back jemilly

The dreaded lurgi 13 Apr 06
Well it looks like the good doctor in the hospital has found a cure for that nusance infection which caused ? to turn into NULL (especially when thinking).

Try it now to see if his cure has worked: think am I still infected?

This cure, however, dows come at a cost. ponder the cost of happiness you can not type the word NULL in anything you say otherwise it reversely gets converted to a ?.

You can of cause say well Ill nullify you in a minute with no harm done (as its not in capitals).

google: [dreaded lurgi]

Lost horizons 8 Apr 06
Wierd things have been happening on the little computer that hosts cow (sorry for being so technical here) What with power-outages and missing RAM drives and windows updates and overly efficient firewalls cow has been flakily unavailable as of late.

All efforts have been make to recitfy these strange occurances and cow should be here a bit more often than not these days.

Also on the completely technical side of things cow will become a bit more bloggy so you can feed out a room or a sub-set of objects in RSS - and have objects with content sucked from an RSS feed.. infact I belive we can already do this.. Ill have to go check.

Remember all questions to wolis: create a question for wolis edit it post it

A record of the times 4 Apr 06
The librarian in the library (in the old town) has resumed her post as general recorder of wakings and sleepings in cow.
The library is here: north. go library
If you want to know who logged on or off when:
read the logonlist

Come sing with me 28 Mar 06
Well, after a short stay in the mega-mall complex, Chocolatie Clare's Cafe has returned t the Old Town.

To celebrate this momentous moment a new kareoke stereo has been installed in it.

Why don't you drop in north. go cafe, order some cheescake then let your hair down and use the stereo

Moving pictures 24 Mar 06
With the shocking discovery that the visual representations of some objects have moved out ot the realms of visbility, a dessperate hunt for them has begun...

.. now the hunt is over and all of joshs missing images have returned to their rightful visible places.

To see some if not all of the images josh has made for some if not all of his objects simply use the newly minted command ability list josh which will show all of the objects owned by josh (thanks for the suggestion list Chaotic bob)

Remember.. some players have been rather prolific and the list may take a while to display.

Another thing you may or may not have noticed is that we have some keen and avid creators here in cow, keenly and avidly creating fun new things for us to marvel at and enjoy.

Thanks to all you keen and avid people.. just remember to keep the open field relatively sane and new-user friendly.. thanks.

I have built an exhibition hall where people know they can go and see the latest and greatest inventios.. or at lease a signpost to them?



Please make use of this fresh new space. north. go gallery. go exhibition hall

10,000 free pennies 17 Mar 06
Just to let everyone know... I've made a slight alteration with the "Find the Tips" quest. Now they're not only hidden in objects created by me. They're also invisible now, so as to make it a harder quest. One more thing, now Ive decided to give away 10,000 free pennies to the first person to complete my quest, instead of just 1,000 pennies.

Remember, start. examine giant sign.

Look into my eyes 9 Mar 06
The fortune teller has come to her senses and is now channeling the mystical powers the dark in the crystal ball.

Pay her a visit start. south. go tent and talk to the fortune teller

Tiger tiger 4 Mar 06
Its official, the postman has a rather serious illness and a frindly tiger google: [tiger tiger - alfred bester] has offered to help out until he is back to full health.

This tiger sometimes delvers in such a hurry thay you dont even notice that it has done anything, so look around carefully for new objects for you.

Black and White 23 Feb 06
And it came to pass that a Lord Vrael journeyed into the land of cow with visions of conquest and mischief on his mind.

May things happend (as they usually do) resulting in a plague of security drones.

wolis waded in and waved his magic want vanquishing the plague in a snap and doing some other sundry things in the process.

So let this be a chilling reminder to us all.. use your powers for good not evil otherwise the entire firy underworld will be spending it up big at the chocolatie Cafe (there will be all hell to pay). I never did understand that saying.

Once again I extend heart-felt greetings to all new-comers to cow, find some fish and sell the for a pretty penny, and create a wonderful world.

Oh.. if you had not noticed we have a NULL bug causing a minor nusance to all cowillians. Aparrently the doctor is doing some reaserching into this virilant desease and hopes to have a cure he can enoculate each and every one of us with. think have I been infected?.

Lets hope the doctor finds a speedy cure for all of our sanities.

Postman Back 23 Feb 06
Well.. after a brief holiday the postman is back at work delivering your amil for you.
create a note for wolis edit it post it

And on that note I would like to welcome all of the new-comers to cow.. sing welcome to cow

Fashion Report 27 Dec 05
Sorry to be gone for so long But I was planning on having a holiday to Tokyo for a bit...
So! Must get back to business! The weeks fashion reports are in straight from Tokyo. SILK!
Anything Silk, YEllow silk fuschia silk ANYTHING silk will do fine...
Just watch out they can be a bit ... REvealing...
lUv ya all!
Jemilly

Seasons seasoning 24 Dec 05
Well, time matches on as always and we are at that time of year again where I say examine christmas.

We now have some fresh new wraping materials you can use if you have the desire to send a present to someone, let me demonstrate:
create a cheese cake. paint it as yellow
wrap it

Say you can now describe the resulting parcel for someone then post it:
describe the parcel as for wolis. post it

If you recieve a parcel you simply unwrap it to get your present.

Greetings to all the new cowillians, may your stay in cow be creative and joyful.

Dr Who did you say? 1 Dec 05
Hi one and all, Just a brief reminder to any new-comers or old timers who may have forgotten, but the Doctor has lost his tardis. Anyone finding it should.. um.. well In not sure what you should do as I have not found the Doctor yet!

Welcome to new cowillians Xianus, Gimli and Tuame. I see some fine times ahead as new and interesing creations are created.

Remember to post questions, comments and ideas on imporving cow to wolis create a suggestion for wolis. paint it as tomato edit the suggestion post it

One thing I was thinking would be useful is a set of maps - like start. north. go gallery to get people to places quickly. If you know of any interesting places, how about making a little map to get people there.. just leave it in the open field or post it to wolis (see above).

Lack There Of 29 November
To say but I think this has been the slowest COW time ever. We've reached an all time low. I can not explain using the english language how low these times are. Of course hopefully this will all change over the Christmas holidays.
The problem is that the COW regulars have stopped. Wolis himself is not even on here as often as before the tragic crisis which has befallen us on this woeful day.
On the other less dreary side of things, we might have an all time high of new members. But, due to the lack of regulars, they're not coming back.
I do realise the flaw in my logic of trying to get people to log onto cow who don't go on cow by writing in a newspaper solely based in COW but this issue needs to be adressed. And I am not sure of another way to do it. but you new people have to start coming in more often because cow is amazing, and I would like to reming you Wolis (creator of COW and father of mine) made this from scratch! Yes, thats right, I said scratch!
And never forget, you can always write your own articles in the Daily COW because we're open to your opinions and thoughts and it is ver easily the simpleast way to do this because the Daily COW is the only COW newspaper.
And I am sorry to say I have been doing my best to fix the Optimum COW printing machine but I just can't get it working. Who knows in the future it may be fixed and we'll make millions of copies a day but until then I am betraying my newspaper and writing articles in here. So come on more often and there will be more of a chance of meeting other COW members. For those of you who haven't had this experience yet -I am sorry to say these people do exist- it is a fulfilling and enriching experience.

On other news Nathan's birthday is on Sunday, angel_maddie's younger sister's Birthday is today and the recent fashions say: "BLACK BLACK BLACK!!"

Worst Dressed 5 october

I think we need a change of pace.. I have been all caught up with whats hot and gorgeous earrings and .. well you get the picture , anyway I believe it qould be a fun idea to have a wost dressed party describe yourself give yourself an image watever! JUst make your self look as ugly as possible and goto te disco found in the ventilation shaft at the bakery and just hop in and start a hoppin' and a groovin'! So remember.. If I, Jemilly the Fashion godess says "OMG! where did you get those shoes?" the you will be required to stad at a wall and have squishy thing SUCH as jellyfish thrown at those shoes OR Jemilly will take them and dispose of the.. By Jemilly

Material witness 22 Sep 2005
A strange new concept has entered our peacful little world, materials.

Admitedly not much is hapening as far as we are concerned but on the microscopic level things are (may be) getting interestting.

The Library (in the Old Town) will be home to a room full of base materials. Any object you create that is made of one of these materials will instantly take on its properties.

Useful if you want to create a spoon made of metal

Now I call on one and all to offer some helpful suggestion of:
a) some base materials like metal,wood,plastic
b) some behaviors or actions they should do

Please turn on your imagination now and post all suggestions to wolis.

Talking of posting things all birthdays should be posted to jemilly, the social butterfly of this fair land.

Birthdays 22 Sep 2005
PLease let Jemilly now if your birthday is coming up for presents need to be created/built/bought!....Mooooo?

Fashion with Jemilly ?? Sep 2005
Brightly Coloured cardboard cars are currently in! I got the latest news from london, Tony blair has just been kicked out of a fashion parade for NOT wearing a bright card board car!! The perfect Accesory for this fashionable item are Bumper stickers!! so get with the trends people! sombrero's ... Uh-uh!


Special words 11 Sep 2005
As time moves on and we yearn to to know more, you will find a new book in the library read the book of special words which explains how you can do and say and convey more meaning and or information when communicating with other cowillians.

With these special words also comes special writing and you will find that editing or writing on something now provides you a whole new colourful way of expressing yourself.

And finally, when you enter a room you may notices things are arranged in a slightly different (hopfully more pleasing) way.

As always, feel free to send wolis a message with something like this:
create a sandwich for wolis. paint it as white You will then want to edit it and write something sensible and logical on your sandwich then post it and get the postman doing this thing.

While we are talking about special words, Id like to warmly welcome some of our newcommers to cow.. shout welcome one and all to cow or if your a newcommer then think oh how thoughtful and inclusive this place is

Have fun reading the books in the library start. north. go library

Cow Derby 29 Aug 2005
With such lovely weather lately, you should think about spending the day out at the races.

Just off from the Amusement park is a new race track where all and sundry can race. start. south. go race

Feel free to add new 'horses' or just sit back and watch the excitment of it all.

Admission is free and as yet there is no prize money for the winner. Some day the organisers will get their act together and find some prizes.


Spark cleaning 24 Aug 2005
A facinating new object has just entered the world and its current sitting in the Open Field.

Its small in size and white in colour and decidely boxy in shape.

I suggest you dont touch it.. it could be dangerous. Someone who wishes to remain anon-i-mouse said they touched it and sparks flew from it, zapping a poor innocent by-stander so they had to stand by somewhere else.

This is not nessecerriillyy a bad thing, concidering how crowded it can get in the Open Field (hello to all you new-commers to cow - we hope you enjoy your stay).

Talking of new-commers.. some people get confused, others get border but the cause of all of this is leaving too soon.

If you do decide to visit cow, I suggest you hang around for a bit, meander around this vast sprawling land and someone is bound to drop in sooner or later.

Also remember to shout hello so everyone can hear you, no-matter where they are in cowland.

So remember these golden rules.. stick around for a bit and shout alot.

Here come the clouds 14 Aug 2005
In a drastic move by wolis, spiders are no more. You may see some strange clouds floating around however.

Holiday 10 Aug 2005
"I was just sitting here" said wolis "minding my own business, when a barrage of guest spiders logged in". With the growing threat of another spider invasion we ask everyone to consider how best to treat spiders.

"I discovered by accident that if you look at one, then it moves away, you follow it!" beamed wolis with delight "this could be some new game.. Im just not sure how to play however".

If you can think of a clever way to put these spiders to good use, just let wolis know. Already they are being roped in to general cleanup and maintenance tasks (they even clean up old dead guests), who knows what other exciting role you can find for these random creatures.

Rivalry 7 Aug 2005

I know I shouldn't be telling you people this as a devoted author of that Daily Cow. Because of our obvious rivalry with Optimum Cow, but it is my buisness to say that the Printing machine appears to be unfixable, the creator of this Newspaper/Magazine Josh is looking for a new one to replace it.

We interviewed josh and this is what he had to say,
"I am looking to buy a new one to replace the old broken one, also. BUY OPTIMUM COW!!"

On that note I would like to say that Optimum Cow is atrociously overrated for such a large price!! It should be worth less!!

*Another piece of paper is stuck here*

"Please send in articles to Josh!!"

Around the world 6 Aug 2005

Pondering the vastness of cowland I thought a tour guide might come in handy to help travellers in the trevells.

Being only familiar with some areas of cow, I find myselt at a loss when trying to guide travelers to some of the more farflung and exotic locations.

So, if you know how to get to a special, interesting place please leave a map in the Open field and I will compile them into a useful guide for all travellers.

Please make sure your instructions start from the Open field or from some other famouse landmark.

eg: To get to the new History room in the library start. north. go library. go history

To get to the hospital start. go paved. go comic. go sky scraper. push button. now go elevator. examine panel

Clean Up 3 Aug 2005

Clean up all the used-once characters in COW! If you haven't noticed the are ALOT of people, hanging around doing nothing, waiting till the time comes that they will be moved to the lost property box. It is my wish, in an effort to clean up COW that each and every single one of us active people, carry 5 old people to the lost Property box

You can do this simply by carrying them like this:
carry fopp
Go to your destination then push fopp

And have you noticed the lurkings around of a robber in cow? Never fear, it appears as thos a police officer is on the case casing the robber down.

You move me 28 jul 2005

Stranger things have happend but I thought I should let you all know that you can all fly!. Yes, thats right you can use the new motion command to indicate how you move around in cow.

I suggest you use a sensible variation of the type of motion you want eg 'flies' or 'walks' otherwise it may look a bit strange.. but its your choice.

Please please please me 27 Jul 2005
The cogs and wheels of cowland are grinding away slowly but surely. The concept of politeness has taken on more of a role in what you do. "Thats right folks" beamed wolis "if you type please create a small apple or create a small apple please (and a few other polite variations) then your personal politeness rating will increase and you may find the command you are performing responds differently as well".

Right now wolis has not indicated what commands will or have been effected but you will notice them when you notice them.

Rumours are floating around about gender and material but these will remain rumours until they become a reality.

Broken machinery 24 Jul 2005
As some of you can see, the printing presses in cow are falling into dis-repair.

The top banner is all smudged and illegible in the Daily COW (see above) and the printing press that is used for the Optimum COW is completely broken.

"Its may be a while before we can fix it" said Josh with ink all over his fingers "Jemilly's fashion article is all blurry, I dont think we can release the next issue until it is fixed". He did have one final comment to make before returning to tinker with the machinery "wear a sombrero".

Talk the walk 21 Jul 2005
You may or may not know that the noun 'google' hs become synonimouse with 'search'. Cowland, trying to be progressive, has embraced this normanclature.

say What does this all mean? you ask. Simple, you can now help your fellow cowillians in their never-ending search for knowledge by saying simple things like search: heffalumps
or google: bedknobs and broomsticks

You can also write into objects (as you so often do) and include the same concept.. just remember to wrap what you want them to search for in square brackets thusly google: [creative object world]

Why not google google: [creative object world]

While your at it, just for a treat, try this:
please create a broach worth 6 pennies. paint the broach as gold. describe the broach as which is shaped like a cat. wear the broach

Rampant Redundant Niceness 18 Jul 2005
for all you cowillians suffering from obsessive compulsive niceness, you can now happily say please when you want to do things or say things in a nice way in cow.

please think about chocolate which will do think about chocolate

Here are some other examples just so you understand:
please go to the library
please create a glass slipper
please carry the book

This does mean that please dont touch my teapot will come out as the rather abrupt 'dont touch my teapot'.
So iether say please dont touch my teapot
or maybe please please dont touch my teapot

Also remember you dont have to use please, its just some random niceness.

And on a more holiday related mood, it appears that xiii is back from holidays and is wearing a sombrero.

Join in the fun and type please create a sombrero. paint the sombrero as peru. wear the sombrero

Credit where credit is due 17 Jul 2005
For all you dedicated creators our there in cowland, we now have suitable credit for your hard work.

When you exmaine an object you get to see who created it and when, as well as who current owns it.

A quick stop-gap measure, all current owners of objects have been credited as the creator - appologies to those un-sing heros who were over-looked in this slap-dash process.

So dont be shy, start creating things now, and for ever and day the universe, no.. cowiverses, will remember your name.. imortality at its best!

Code