a blonde and a red head are walking along a path, the red screams and say "look a dead bird". the blonde looks up and says "where, where".
Three blondes aproach a raging river and on the other side is a magic tree of wishes, the first blonde wishes to be 100x smarter, swings on a vine across the river, the secong wishes to be 1000x smarter and builds a raft to cross. the third wishes to be 1,000,000x smarter, turns into a man and crosses the bridge.
what do you call a line of blondes lined up ear to ear? a wind tunnel
a man goes to see a phyciatrist, the phyciatrest pulled down the mans pants and said "I can clearly see your nuts".
a blonde says to her friend one day."I ran into my ex the other day, so i backed up the car and ran over him again
a man was caught speeding, the cops sent him a letter saying you owe us 60 pounds. the next day the police received a letter containing a picture of 60 pounds. two days later the man received a picture of a big ugly gay man in a prison cell on a bed. the other picture was one of handcuffs. the next day the police received 70 pounds.
a couple broke up one day, three weeks after that the women was driving around in a bmw z4 with a license plate called, WAS HIS
What do you get when you put michael jackson and cher in a microwave together. barbra striseand.
y did michael jackson suddenly turn black one day on a stroll on a sunny day? he left his umbrella at home
y did michale jacksons wife have to put a band aid on her face every time she kissed him? because of michaels nose.
one day a group of people were playing paintball. one gun was slightly bent upwards so if u aimed at someones balls u'd hit their head. in the first few rounds he kept hitting people in the head. he complained about this to the manager. the manager and him arguid whether it was or not. eventually the kid tried to prove it by putting on a helmet and telling the manager to aim for his balls at the right distance. unfortunatley for the target the manager fired with perfect aim with the wrong gun. and the target wasnt wearing anything but shorts.
y didnt the chicken quite make it across the road? a semi trailer driver was quickly looking at the floor for his phone.
how did the mouse escape the cats mouth. when it was half way in it took a large crap, the cat was never the same.
definition of blonde: a blonde women go outside to her car to go to work only, it isn't there. she searches the whole street then panicks and calls the police. the police sends a police women. shes blonde to, they both drive around for an hour together they send a policeMAN and he's there for five minutes. then he opens the garage door.
a blonde is sent into space to destroy a meteor. she gets the bomb in and sets the timer then starts the timer.three days later she returns to earth ahead of the meteor. all of earth awaits to see it explode because it will destroy earth otherwise. but the blonde put to many zeroes on the timer and 5 days after the meteor hits the nuke goes off destroying what little of earth wasn't fully affected.
a man is dumped by his girlfriend the night he was gonna propose. two days later hes posting up signs that contain a picture of his ex girlfriend and some writing "a hefty reward for the return of my lost bitch".
a man robbed a convinience store of money. whilst the clirk was packing the bag full of money he went to the fridge to get a few beers. he put them on the counter and said "bag em" but the clirk replied "your not old enough to drink" for five minutes the two argued until finally the robber showed the clirk his license to prove his age, the clirk briefly looked at it and wrote down the adress while the robber was browsing for anything else. the clirk agreed that he was old enough bagged all the stuff then the robber left. 5 minutes later the robber was apprihended at his house.
y did the teacher give a recently A average student an F for all subjects. because she had recently dyed her hair blonde.
why did the monster fail to kill the innocent girl walkign down a dark ally way. casue it said "you cant possibly escape" and naturally a piano fell on it.
what's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver. one goes whack, oh shit. the other goes oh shit, whack.
two hunters were hunting mooses and they both got one good one each and took them back to the plane to go home, the pilot told them that with all the luggage they'd wouldn't make it above the trees on take off. the two hunters were outraged and complained because the pilot they used the year before had the courage to do it. so the pilot excepted the challenge and gave it a try. before they were five metres of the ground they hit the trees and they took off the wings and the plane landed and then skidded to a halt. the pilot got out and checked on the two hunters. he said "where are we" the hunter replied."about 100 feet further then the pilot got last year. the pilot strangled both hunters and then went off walking to find help.